The concept of loneliness has intrigued me over the last few weeks.
When you say you’re lonely, you may be seeing, feeling and experiencing it in so many different ways. This inspired me to reflect on my own relationship with it.
I struggle to define myself as an introvert or extrovert. After all, this can depend on my mood or what I’m focused on. As a result of this, I question what I need from the world. Sometimes, I felt that this was a determining factor in creating loneliness. For example, I would question if I wanted some space or company? Assuming that loneliness was the result of environmental factors and preference.
Recent events have taught me that this is perhaps not the case.
Loneliness as a dis-ease
I’ve begun to view loneliness as a disease. One which engulfs a person in the darkness and isolation that connects with depression and weakness. It can be experienced while you are amongst the world, as well as alone, in the emptiness of a room. A cry from within that is looking for a space to belong, and something to connect with.
Whilst environment can be a factor, for me, loneliness can transcend a perfect environment if there is no feeling of connection to ourselves and our spirit.
I spent a great deal of time on my own in the past week. During this time I noticed how attached I became to technology as a link to the rest of the world. Within myself, I felt a need for human interaction and connection. Yet, there was no one that I was drawn to speak to.
I read a great article which explained that “Loneliness… is the want of intimacy” but I question the type of intimacy that we really need?
I’ve begun to realise that during times when connection or intimacy to the spiritual world is left aside, loneliness can come from within. When we place all our sense of communication and connection to dialogue that can feel useless or unnecessary. Or even, when we begin to believe that technology is the only medium for communication or intimacy with other humans. (I totally see the irony of writing a blog post on this!)
In today’s world we can easily close off from nature. Particularly when we become stuck in front of computers or books, engaging with multitudes of thoughts at once. During an average day, it can be easy to lose ourselves within the havoc of this technological, busy world and forget who we are.
These are the moments when I have felt most lonely. Yet, all it takes is a few moments, and some introspection to remind me that I can be plugged into the entire world if I connect with my soul. Be that in a religious manner, or just through self-awareness. Taking account of your breath and emotions for a few minutes a day can be a really helpful way to reconnect with yourself.
If I can be friends with myself (and the Divine – call it what you will), and cultivate that relationship, I should never feel alone.
If you’re looking for more tips, feel free to get in touch.