For the last few weeks I have been intrigued by the concept of loneliness.
There are so many ways that it can be seen, felt and experienced, that I have reflected on my own relationship with it.
I struggle to define myself as an introvert or extrovert, as my opinion changes on what I need from the world. I always felt that this was a determining factor in creating loneliness. I would question, at any given time, if I wanted space or company? Assuming that loneliness was the result of environmental factors and preference.
Recent events have taught me that this is perhaps not the case.
I’ve begun to view loneliness as a disease. One which engulfs a person in the darkness and isolation that connects with depression and weakness. A feeling that can be found in amongst the world, as well as in the emptiness of a room. A cry from within that is looking for a space to belong, and something to connect with.
Whilst environment can be a factor, for me, loneliness can transcend a perfect environment if there is no feeling of connection to ourselves and our spirit.
I spent a great deal of time on my own in the past week, and noticed how attached I became to technology as a link to the rest of the world. There was a feeling within me that suggested the need for human interaction and connection – and yet no-one that I was drawn to speak to.
I read a great article which explained that “Loneliness… is the want of intimacy” but I question the type of intimacy that we really need?
I’ve begun to realise that loneliness can come from within, during times when connection or intimacy to the spiritual world is left aside. When we place all our sense of communication and connection to dialogue that can feel useless or unnecessary. Or even, when we begin to believe that technology is the only medium for communication or intimacy with other humans. (I totally see the irony of writing a blog post on this!)
In a world where we can easily close off from nature, and become stuck in front of computers or books, engaging with multitudes of thoughts at once – it can be easy to lose ourselves within the havoc of the world and forget who we are.
These are the moments when I have felt most lonely. Yet, all it takes is a few moments, and some introspection to remind me that I can be plugged into the entire world, if I connect with my soul.
If I can be friends with myself (and God), and cultivate that relationship, I should never feel alone.